What's Hashem doing in the darkness??

In this week's Parsha Vayeishev, there are many details that could point to an apparent randomness of events or events that could seem accidental.... but like the Purim story are actually interwoven in an intricate pattern of Divine Providence!
Yakov sends Yosef to check on his brothers acting on and bringing to fuition, information from Avraham Avinu that his family will be exiled,
the brothers cast Yosef into a pit and then sell him to Yishme'elim, and then totally broken from all of these events, the family starts to unravel somewhat, many of the members spending time either in mourning or Tshuvah or both in sackcloth and ashes.

The Chumash tells us that Yehuda goes down to live in another place and do business with an Adullami man. The going down could refer to his own sense of self worth or his estimation in his brother's opinion of him.

Yehuda marries, which we are told also in the Medrash is a choice of action that Hashem approves of, a starting over, a choice of having a new beginning! He has three sons, marries the eldest one to Tamar, when the eldest son dies Tamar is given to the second son and when he too dies, Yehuda holds back his third son from marrying Tamar.
The chumash tells us that after Yehuda's own wife dies, he goes on the road on some business trip, sees Tamar, does not recognize her as his daughter in law and thinking she is a harlot has relations with her.

The medrash tells us that a Malach  actually pushed Yehuda to notice and desire to have relations with Tamar, without this push he would never have noticed her at all!  Another medrash tells us that while all the family members were busy with their  mourning and regret;
"the tribes with the selling of Yosef, Yosef with his sackcloth and fasting , (because he was separated from his father's house) Reuben with his sackcloth and fasting, Yakov with his sackcloth and fasting, (mourning his son) , and Yehuda,  busy with selecting a wife, the Holy One blessed be He was busy with creating the light of Moshiach!" How so, the union of Yehuda and Tamar produces Peretz, the forefather of Moshiach!

When it seems that the most unlikely things are happening and it seems that Hashem has abandoned the scene, he is actually working in apparent darkness, a darkness that distracts the negative forces, so that He is free to bring  about redemption!

The medrash highlights a number of liaisons  connected to the seed of Moshiach that come into the world in suspect circumstances, Ruth's own heritage, the marriage of  Boaz and Ruth, David's own lineage and now Yehuda and Tamar. The Medrash highlights the idea of bringing something of holiness into the world through the backdoor, in an unexpected fashion....Concealment is a hallmark of the means by which G-d prepares the way for the arrival of Moshiach. The Gemorrah states in Sanhedrin, "Three things come into the world when one's attention is diverted, these are Moshiach,... etc". The Ramban mentions this method of confusing the Satan by reminding us of the action of throwing a goat off a cliff on Yom Kippur, the Ramban says we are tricking the Satan by leading him to believe we are making an offering to the forces of impurity and then distracted , the Satan refrains from prosecuting Israel in the heavenly court on Yom Kippur!

It seems that when darkness surrounds us, we may be led to believe Hashem has abandoned His post, but in fact he is working behind the scenes, orchestrating the next manifestation of Moshiach, the darkness is meant to be a distraction, so the forces of evil get thrown off...a false sense of strength and victory should not be seen as true strength... Hashem is pulling strings and orchestrating our redemption although right now it definitely seems like it's happening behind the scenes.... may we have revealed good very soon with the ultimate revelation of Moshiach!
May it be soon!

Yakov as Peaceful Warrior

What does it mean to be a peaceful warrior?

At first glance these two words seem contradictory yet if we think more deeply into the the root of what makes us strong, (our vulnerability) what makes us the best fighters, (a desire for true peace) and what helps us to reach above ourselves, (being grounded) then perhaps the combination of these two words is not so strange after all. A peaceful warrior is someone who enters into battle open to reconciliation if that is truly available, but brave enough to take a stand if it is not. In my understanding, a peaceful warrior is a fighter who is centered and calm, flexible and adaptable and really wishes to hurt no living thing, but when his or her family and values, land and loves are threatened, they can be very focused in defending what is right and what is theirs.

In this week's Parsha our forefather Yakov reminds me of  the perfect example of what a  peaceful warrior truly is.

Yakov leaves Charan and the home of Lavan where he was successful in transforming the energy that existed there from energy that served selfish and material interests, to energy that fused the material and the spiritual in the service of Hashem. He leaves with 12 children and great material wealth, his abundance all devoted to the service of the ideals of the Torah, his children and wives  loyal to his beliefs and the wealth available for offerings and gifts to G-d as well as spreading light in the physical world....

and he now prepares to confront and attempt to elevate the energy of Esav.

The Torah tells us of the various different strategies Yakov employs in planning for this cosmic meeting. He sends angels (in the form of people as Esav would not have been able to engage with them in angelic form) with a message of reconciliation, he divides his family into two camps, (part of a war strategy that in the event of  violence,  at least one camp would escape Esav) he prays to Hashem to save him , (connects to his spiritual self) and he sends  a very large gift, (as Rashi explains, large enough to  amaze and fully satiate the eye of Esav) more effort at reconciliation and then perhaps without planning it at all, he is forced to do the most intense preparation of all, he fights with the angel of Esav. 

There are many different explanations of  the meaning of this encounter with the angel of Esav . Is the angel the externalization of his own inner conflict and fear in relation to Esav that he needs to confront? According to the Babylonian Talmud (Chullin 91a) the angel appeared in the guise of a man; one opinion is that this " man" was a pagan idol worshipper and most interesting another opinion suggests that the angel took the guise of a Torah sage! Does Yakov need to understand his own guilt and ambivalence regarding their past?  Does he need to come to grips  with what happened and  defeat the 'idea" of  what Esav represents in this world before he can face him in a calm and secure fashion in actuality? To truly defeat Esav, Yakov has to come to a point where he can reconcile himself to what happened regarding his and Esav's history, he needs to  understand why in fact it was G-d's will that he should have received the blessing of the first born when in fact Esav was really older and his father's intended recipient for the blessing? 

It seems that  it took all night for Yakov to work through all these inner struggles and at the end of it it.. the "man" was not able to overcome him, meaning possibly that Yakov was able to neutralize all the accusations thrown at him by both the secular voices in his head and the super halachic and  "super righteous"  voices telling him he had possibly sinned and had no Torah based claim to the blessings....so ultimately he does emerge victorious but he is damaged slightly. The significance of the damage is that Yakov is forever vulnerable in certain aspects of his mission, some doubt did lay it's seed within him  and this seed developed into fruition with the destruction of all that Yakov held dear generations later with  the destruction of the Temples on a date that has a Kabalistic connection to the site of the injury. 

Most important of all, Yakov emerges from his night of confrontation with something that adds a dimension to him for all time and becomes an aspect of the entire Jewish people.. Yakov becomes Yisroel! Yakov, who deals with things in a somewhat round about kind of way,  sometimes surreptitious and perhaps even devious, becomes Yisroel ,  Yashar-El... straight with Hashem, unapologetic, upfront and direct and then he names the place of the encounter Peni'el, (the face of G-d) he is ready for a face to face encounter with what ever !

Yakov struggled within himself to find his belief that ultimately he is the one to whom the blessings rightfully belong, and that he can walk tall and face anyone who may be an accuser , knowing that he is calm and centered within...peaceful and focused...this calmness and clarity has allowed him to see the face of Hashem hidden in all the details, and this calmness allows him to face Esav as a peaceful warrior!

The name Yakov implies a kind of struggle while the name Yisroel hints to a place beyond the struggle , a place of peacefulness and resolution. When Avram becomes Avraham his new name takes root and he is never again called Avram, however  Yaakov continues to be referred to by both names, he continues to have struggles in his life ( the loss of Yosef for over 20 years) being called by both names  even after he receives his name Yisroel.

May it be that the Children of Israel/Yisroel truly achieve a state of peace, within and without in the perfected world of the Messianic era and may it be soon in our day!!! 

Dealing with the world

One of the reasons Yakov leaves Beer Sheva , our sages teach us, is that he did not want to make a treaty with Avimelech the way his grandfather and father before him did. Making a treaty with Avimelech would suggest a position of " you do your thing, and I will do mine, and lets not bother each other". Yakov's purpose was to  transform and transcend physicality and the impure or selfish energies, not by being far away and separated from them, but by being amidst them and then transforming and  transcending them.

When Yakov comes to "the place" that, Rashi tells us will be the site of the future Bais Hamikdash, it becomes suddenly dark , he lays down and has his dream.The Rebbe in a sicha given in Kislev of 5752, explains that there is something positive about the fact that Yakov , at the site of the future Bais Hamikdash is in a lying position; feet, symbolizing physicality on the same level as his head, symbolizing the intellect and the higher faculties. This is connected with Yakov's essential mission, elevating the lowest worlds. The dream itself, of a ladder with it's feet on the ground and its upper part reaching up into  the heavens is also a symbol of the lower and upper worlds integrating and  connecting one to the other.

He goes down to Charan, a place linked to G-d's anger, and there he manages to weave around all of Lavan's crafty plans, and manages to release and elevate all the hidden sparks buried and trapped with Lavan, so that he is able to create the foundation for the future of the Jewish people and to leave with great wealth.

Yakov is identified with the sfirah of Tiferet, which is connected to the idea of balance, balance between Chesed and Gevurah, and also balance between the physical and spiritual worlds. All of Yakov's children emerge from Charan with the faith and the world view of their father, serving Hashem with all parts of themselves involved, elevating the physical to spiritual heights and bringing the light of spirituality into the physical realm around them.

Let us be inspired to follow in the path of Yakov, an integrated and balanced path, that allows for all parts of the 'self' to find a means of expression in the service of Hashem and in the service of elevating even the lowest of worlds.

The clash of opposing forces and the vision of Rivka Immeinu

In this week's Parsha we read about the pregnancy of Rivka Immeinu. We read how she was so uncomfortable with the conflicted energies within her womb, that she went to enquire about this of Hashem. Rashi explains that she went to the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever, which is where one would go to enquire of Hashem. Rashi also tells us that at the yeshiva it was Shem who received an answer for Rivka via ruach hakodesh and communicated it to her. The answer that Rivka received was that within her womb were the beginnings of two great nations, that would have separate priorities and separate destinies and that eventually the older would serve the younger.

Chassidus views the reality of the two "nations" within Rivka as  related to the two forces within each person, the Yakov aspect which suggests a desire to be centered and committed to G-dliness and giving and the Esav aspect, an opposing inclination towards selfishness and immediate gratification in the physical world.

Rivkas as we learnt last week is connected to the "eye" of the well, which means she sees reality in a dualistic fashion, she sees clearly what is in the here and now, but she is also able to see beyond the now to the future, and to see beyond the details of the immediate to see the bigger picture. When Eliezer found Rivka at the well, our sages tell us he was not only looking for her kindness, but he was looking for a quality within Rivka's worldview that was represented within her "eye". Eliezer was looking for the girl who had the right kind of vision.

Rivka carries the message of the prophesy she hears from Shem about her two sons for 60 years. When Yitzchak is ready to give his blessing, she realizes that she needs to become proactive to manifest that prophecy. 

Yitzchak is aware that Esav has some of the qualities of a true first born, but what Rivka understands is that when he sold his birthright to Yakov, he revealed his true essence, which showed him not to be a vessel for the blessing. He was only connected to the moment and Rivka knew the blessing has power for all of eternity.

 Reb Shlomo explains  that the blessing from Yitzchak would be a blessing that would full the recipient with enough holiness  to enable  their descendants to "mamesh make it to the end" with faith and trust intact!

On the basis of that blessing the descendants of Yakov sit and learn Torah in Jerusalem today, on the basis of that blessing, the descendants of Yakov witness horrible and brutal murders in Jerusalem and stay committed and faithful to G-d's path and on the basis of that blessing we are able to see beyond the realities of today to a visualize and believe in a picture of peace and resolution for tomorrow.

Rivka was told that the elder, the first born, (the physically focused, worldly, self interested and crafty) will serve the younger, (the Torah serving, ultruistic G-d fearing )Yakov. We need to look with the eyes of Rivka to see the reality of today, and not be blind to what is happening, but at the same time, to be able to keep the vision of redemption alive, when the nations of the world will empower us to serve Hashem, when we will truly  integrate our own physicality and creative strength and power to serve only good and when we will be able to embrace and channel our own shadow selves to truly be in healthy emotional states of joy and gratitude constantly....

As we beg and plead for Moshiach we need to remember that there were sages at various times in our history who resisted the idea of Moshiach coming because they feared that with the enormous energy shifts that would occur, there would be much bloodshed and suffering. For years the idea of the coming of Moshiach was always identified with the war of Gog and Magog and not a popular idea at all, but the Rebbe refocused our attention. Holding on to that fear is not an authentic Jewish  path and will hold the world back from reaching its ultimate potential. The Rebbe pleaded with us (and can I say demanded of us?)  that we should be very focused on doing everything we can to  bring Moshiach,  and to focus on all the good that the era of Moshiach will reveal to us, with the ultimate revelation of a world that is all good, but is it possible to birth a baby since the "aveirah" of Chava in Gan Eden without the pain of contractions?

Rivka worked hard that Yakov should get the blessing for "the end" from Yitzchak, and she was successful, because of that, we have made it thus far, and we need to hold on just a little bit longer, because the night is almost over, and dawn is breaking over the horizon, but we need to hold fast to our faith and our strength... we are mamesh so close to the end....

May the memory of  

Rabbi Moshe Twersky hy"d

Rabbi Kalman Levine hy"d

Rabbi Areyeh Kupinsky hy"d

 Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Goldberg hy"d

be for blessing and may their neshamos have continuous aliyot..

and may the following have a refuah shelaimah

Shmuel Yeruchem ben Baila

Chaim Yechiel ben Malka

Eitan ben Sara

Yitzchak ben Chaya

Moshe ben Atara

remembering with gratitude:

Zidon Nahad Sief

With thanks to Shlomo Katz for giving over so beautifully the Torah teachings of Reb Shlomo Carlebach which served as inspiration for this piece. 

Being inspired by our parents...Learning to see.

Our sages tell us that we share spiritual DNA from the Avot and the Imaot, we probably have some of their  physical DNA as well. What this means, is that not only can we be inspired by the way they lived their lives, but we can be empowered to follow in their their footsteps.
This weeks Parsha, which is called Chaya Sara includes  the passing and burial of Sara as well as the shiddich of Yitzchak and Rivka. One of the reasons why the Parsha which contains the death of Sara is called "the Life of Sara", is because we see how Sara'a values are continued into the next generation through the marriage of her son to Rivka, who we see is a young woman/or young girl of incredible kindness and depth.

These past few weeks in Eretz Yisroel have seen tremendous suffering and grief as the birthpangs of the imminent redemption seem to be intensifying. The deaths of 26 year old Dahlia Lemkus, a young woman from Alon Shvut who loved to help people and do water color paintings, Almog Shilon from Mod-In  who had just graduated from the   first ever Platoon Commanders' Course of the Nahal Haredi battalion of the Israeli Air Force,  3 month old Chaya Zissel Braun who had just visited the kotel for the first time, the young woman from Equadore, Keren Yemima Mosquera who had only recently completed a conversion process and others.................. and unhappily we stop paying attention. We stop feeling because maybe feeling all this pain and suffering is too much for us??

The Piacesna Rebbe , Rabbi Kolonymus Kalman Shapira ( Rebbe who lived in the Warsaw ghetto in the 2nd World War) explains that  Sara's death can almost be seen as a protest, that she somehow testifies to the limit of how much suffering we as a people are capable of handling... that even the thought that her only son and future of the Jewish people being slaughtered was absolutely too much!!

Rabbi Meir Kahana whose Yortzeit was this last week was often described as the Rabbi who made the Jewish people wake up, are we awake yet??
Being awake is a good thing, we eat fish on shabbos as fish are compared to the righteous who always have their eyes open, but what do we see??

Rabbi Avrahan Eiger writes in the Shevet Mi Yehuda that the difference between a slave person and someone who is free is how they see the world, a slave who is looked down upon looks down at the world, sees negativity and cannot look up or  see the beyond, while a free person is able to look up and see beyond the darkness, beyond the reality of just today.

Our sages teach us that there are  two ways of seeing, being aware of what is right in front of us and being able to see the reality beyond. In this week's HaYom Yom the Alter Rebbe is quoted as sharing with someone in Yechidus  that Shma is an acronym of "Se'u marom einechem"
Raise your eyes on High! Look upwards!

When Eliezer comes to the spring or fountain where he will meet Rivka, who will become the wife of Yitzchak, it says in verse 24:13 that he arrives at the "Ayin Ha Mayim", which literally means the eye of the water. The word for a spring or fountain is "Ma-ayan " which actually means "Mem from Ayin" from the eye! Reb Shlomo Carlebach explains the importance of this and connects this idea to the way we see things, and how warmth and love can be communicated with our eyes. True giving is done not just with our hands, but with our eyes too, the spirit with which we give. Eliezer was looking for the girl who had the right type of eye, the eye of true giving, as well as the eye that could see beyond the realities of just today.

Ayin is the letter in the hebrew alphabet that has the value of 70,  there are 70 nations of the world. Reb Shlomo teaches that the way we use our eyes, will enable us to cope with the 70 nations. Se'u Marom Eineichem, look up and get the power and  strength and vision beyond that of the 70 nations... let it be our Ayin, not theirs.

One of my students Reva sent me the following in response to our learning together of the Piacesna's learning on Sara:
Thank you Reva.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oo2JskBPgA

Blessing us all with a beautiful Shabbos, with the power of a good eye that is able to look up and see good, and the revelation of true good with the Geula Shelaimah!

P.S Just wanted to make a shout out to my own  amazing parents Irma and Dick Hayden ( they should both be well and strong!) who have an  amazing capacity to always look for and see the good !!

The breath of life.....

Interesting article I  recently happened upon:
"Yoga Practice pumps up Detoxifying Antioxidants
Indian Researchers recruited 64 physically fit males from the Indian Air Force Academy for a three month study of yoga's effect on detoxification. For three months, 34 of the volunteers practiced Hatha yoga with breathing exercises and meditation. The other 30 volunteers underwent physical training exercises.
At the end of the study, blood tests found significantly higher levels of antioxidants, including vitamin C and vitamin E,among the subjects in the yoga group. These participants also showed lower levels of oxidized glutathione and increased levels of two important antioxidant enzymes, superoxide dismutase and glutathione reductase, all indicating better detoxification. Meanwhile, the exercise -only group showed no changes in these parameters."
Natural Awakenings, October 2014

Tuesday and Thursday mornings join us for Tiferet Movement: Develop body and mind strength and flexibility through movement, breathing exercises and meditation.

Bringing Heaven down to Earth!

Avraham was a revolutionary! He was a revolutionary not because he believed in one G-d, this was not so cutting edge, but because he allowed his belief in a transcendent G-d to effect his very physical earthly self, to the extent that this belief  got translated into all of his 248 physical limbs, and led him to go through with the bris mila, a mitzvah that required him to "cut " into his physical self (thus the cutting edge phrase..lol) and by so doing, reveal the  essential connection between body and soul!!

Avraham was also pretty revolutionary in his connection to kindness! His identification and manifestation of kindness was so absolute, that our sages tell us that because of Avraham's kindness, Hashem Himself was able to manifest more of His own kindness into the world!!

Menachem Nachem of Chernoble explains that when Avraham sits at the opening to his tent in the heat of the day, just after his bris, this can be interpreted on a more abstract level, ( the level of Remez i believe)  that Avraham sits for all time at the entrance to Geinheinom (Hell) and tries to save Jews who can be recognized by the markings of a kosher or unpolluted bris .( which means that they have not had illicit relations with non Jewish women). The heat of the day obviously refers here to the "heat of Hell" which Avraham endures in order to do eternal kindness for the souls of all "fallen Jewish men..."

During our class on the Parsha we compared Noach who related to Hashem in a rational way, within the confines of the natural world and within the confines of his own nature, to Avraham, who relates to a transcendent G-d, in a way that requires him to constantly transcend his own nature!

Avraham's way of relating to G-d opens pathways to us, to relate to G-d in both ways that are transcendent , requiring us to go beyond our selves, so to speak, and in ways that are very grounded, linking  heaven and earth in very physical ways, using our 248 limbs to carry out the 248 physical  mitzvoth!

Intimacy Retreat

If we think of our relationship with Hashem in terms comparable to a marriage,  the month of Elul is like a special romantic retreat before a recommitment ceremony. During marriage retreats we would focus on our partner, spend time doing exercises during which we really express our feelings, and basically prioritize the relationship trying to iron out any underlying bumps in the communication or connection, so that when we would celebrate our recommitment to the relationship, we could do it with a full heart!

Rosh Hashana is the recommitment ceremony!
On Rosh Hashanah we are going to proclaim Hashem as king, but in order to do that, we need our relationship to be in order, so we can do it with a full heart. Elul is the time to fix this relationship with Hashem, if in fact it has become a little estranged or if there are any festering issues. There are aspects to the month of Elul that lend itself to this special work . Elul is compared to a " city of refuge", being a refuge in time, not space. Elul is connected to the Aramaic translation of the Hebrew word , " to spy out", hisaro, hinting to us that this is an opportune time to " spy" out the inner landscape of our beings, and of course, Elul corresponds to the phrase " ani ledodi ve dodi li", being the acronym for the first letter of each of the words in that famous phrase, " I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me.."

So I bless each one if us, to take the opportunity of Elul, and we know that it is never too late,
To open ourselves to the beauty and the richness of a deep relationship with Hashem, with our deepest selves and with our true destiny!
Shana Tova!
With love and light,
Bracha.

Global Jewish Leadership: The 7th Lubavitcher Rebbe and a vision of Redemption

Its coming up to the 20th anniversary of the passing from this physical world of Rabbi Menachem Schneerson, the 7th Lubavitcher Rebbe. In the past few weeks three biographies of the Rebbe have been published, and of the two that I have already read, by both of the author's own admissions, ( Chaim Miller and Adin Steinsaltz)  and from my own impressions of what has been written, the biographies can only give testimony to a small percentage of the Rebbe's amazing contribution, presence and mystique. Of course I am so very grateful to the authors, and intend to read the third biography  by Joseph Telushkin as soon as possible, but the Rebbe was so very large, it is difficult to capture him in a book. Chaim Miller admits this in his introduction, and cites this as the reason that so many years have past without any biography being written, but never the less I would highly recommend both books to any one interested in catching a glimpse of the very real and very human greatness of the 7th Lubavitcher Rebbe.

From my readings it is clear that the Rebbe had an amazing memory, was a real genius, loved learning about almost everything particularly Torah, Mysticism, Chassidus , Mathematics and Astronomy and was passionate in his dedication to  Hashem, the Jewish People and the land of Israel. He also cared deeply for every single human being on the planet! He was deeply intuitive and had some psychic or mystical abilities that neither of the authors elaborate too much upon. He was incredibly focused and clear about what his mission in the world was... to carry out the goal  of the Freddiker (Previous) Rebbe, which was to strengthen Judaism, spread the light and wisdom of Torah and bring Moshiach! The Rebbe extended the Freddiker Rebbe's vision to include spreading the wisdom of the Torah to all of humanity in every corner of the globe. He created programs to engage the elderly, young children, unaffiliated college students, drug addicts, soldiers, wounded soldiers , people with disabilities  and the regular secular and assimilating Jew in the comfortable modern world, and he emphasized the crucial  importance of women in the spiritual reality of the family and the nation! Wow.... thats a lot!

What makes all of the above even more interesting is that the Rebbe was really an introvert by nature and did not want to become  the Rebbe at all ! He stepped up to the plate when it became clear that he needed to do it for the sake of Lubavitch and for the sake of the Chassidim and Chassidus... and then he never wavered! The Rebbe was such an awesome example of unwavering and clear sighted focus... his vision  was razor sharp..  he was crystal clear on the difference between what is truth and what is political expediency, what is halachah and what is a "kop-out", what is the right way for a Jew to behave and what is a sell-out... the Rebbe never supported expedient compromise..and he hated the fact that the government of Israel traded land for empty promises of a fake peace... oh well, so much for that!

The Rebbe outlined a very clear program of how we need to continue the mission in his physical absence, there is so much written  and digital footage recorded explaining exactly what we need to emphasize... we need to stay focused, in our love of the "other" and our fellow and utilize our own unique talents and personalities to illuminate and spread the wisdom of Torah, not just to our fellow Jews, but to our fellow humans... truly be an "Ohr La-Goyim", a light unto the nations, and in so doing, may we be worthy to truly see the light of Redemption and the Revelation of the Moshiach/ the true redeemer in our times!!

And by the way, if you haven't  yet read one of those biographies.... go out and get  hold of at least one... as I said, I haven't yet read all three, but i loved Chaim Miller's

Turning Judaism Outward!...

Have a meaningful Gimmel Tammuz...be inspired and then do something positive!!

The Efficacy of Prayer

Right now the Jewish people are pleading with Hashem, "Let our boys 
Yakov Naftali Ben Rachel Devorah
Gilad Michael Ben Batgalim and
Eyal Ben Iris Tshura, come home.... but can our prayers really make a difference?? Of course we have been taught to pray in situations of struggle and challenge and its not really a real question... of course prayer helps, but looking in this weeks Torah reading we see an amazing thing.

After Korach and company are destroyed for rebelling against Moshe and Aharon, the entire community of Israel (the survivors ) is outraged by their punishment and come to accuse Moshe and Aharon for causing the death of Hashem's people...this rebellion causes Hashem further anger and He declares that "He will wipe them all out in an instant" and indeed a plague is launched that has deadly effect..... it is at this point that Moshe instructs Aharon to take a fire pan with incense on it  and go and make an atonement for the people...

We read how with his burning fire pan, Aharon makes atonement for the people, 'he stood (literally) between the dead and the living and the epidemic was halted .(17:13)
In the Rashi we read that "Aharon seized the angel of death himself and stopped him, despite himself...".. this is amazing...Rashi continues to explain how they argue, the Angel of death  claiming to be carrying out Hashem's instructions,  which should trump the intensions of Aharon who is acting on behalf of Moshe... but when they return together to confront Moshe who is at the entrance to the Ohel Moed, (the special place where Hashem and Moshe would engage) we see that Aharon and Moshe are indeed victorious in convincing the angel of death, because the plague does in fact get stopped!!
Proof indeed of the efficacy of  human initiative, or prayer!!

Its an amazing story....
Thanks to Rabbi David Fohrman, you can watch his video explanation of this on his website:www.alphabeta.org or go direct to the link for this weeks parsha 
http://www.alephbeta.org/course/lecture/korach-can-we-influence-god

a great quote from Carolyn Myss..

Thanks to my dear friend Janet!

“We are living through a cosmic transformation that is directing us to realize that power originates in our thoughts and energy.  While that has always been the truth, becoming conscious of that truth is equal to becoming partners in the dynamics of creation. We now know that our thoughts are active creative agents. Realizing that one truth will redirect the future of humanity.

And one of the laboratories in which this cosmic drama is being played out is our physical body, our mind, our emotions and our soul.  We are each a cosmic laboratory unto ourselves.  That one truth should make you want to know everything you can about yourself - and certainly everything about the nature of your own consciousness. You now have choice about how to handle illnesses because you know how powerful your choices and attitudes are. 

How can I not teach this message?  Whether I present through health or mysticism or archetypes or history - at the end of the day, I am teaching you about the emerging consciousness in human nature.  How can you not want to learn this message?” Carolyn Myss

My feelings and thoughts exactly!

Moving Forward: The power of Positive Imagination

I came across an amazing distinction between  hopefulness and hopelessness in preparing for my parsha class this week. The source was a video on Shlach by Rabbi David Fohrman, which basically suggests that when we use our  creative imagination to create wonderful and exciting scenarios  about our future, we generate hopefulness, but when we use our power of imagination to look backwards, we will probably land up in a state of hopelessness.

The source for this idea concerns the manner in which the Jewish people responded to being told by the majority of the spies who had gone ahead of the community to scout out the land of Israel, that they felt the whole idea of entering the land of Israel  and dealing with the communities already there was a terrible  idea. In fact they even say, "in our eyes we seemed like grasshoppers, and so we were in their eyes"(13:33), referring to the "giants" that inhabited the land . Their self perception was so negative they even projected it upon how they were seen by others. How did they know how they were seen?  Two righteous spies vehemently disagreed with them, but could not persuade the people that trusting in G-d and moving forward was a valid option. Rabbi Fohrman draws our attention to how backward thinking intensified when the Jews thought  about the challenges that awaited  them in the future.The verses illustrate this in three steps.....1) if only we had died in Egypt, 2) Is it not better for us to return to Egypt? 3) Let us appoint a leader and return to Egypt! (14:1-4)

Didn't  the Jewish people remember all the suffering they endured back in Egypt? Even if these complaints and suggestions  were spurred on by the "Erav Rav"(the mixed multitude who joined the Jewish people on their  exit) surely they too were aware the Egypt experience was not a bed of roses for the Jewish people? How could they suggest going back?? What faculty of being could get a people who had suffered for over 400 years in a certain situation to possibly think that  returning to the source of their suffering would be a preferable situation than trying out their luck and moving forward? Backward facing imagination!

Rabbi Fohrman suggests this is the epitome of hopelessness... engaging our imagination to glorify the past. When we use our imagination to glorify the past, we can edit out the bad parts, we can recreate reality in our minds to make it seem that everything about the path not taken was in fact perfect... we can airbrush what had led us to reject that option and only focus on all the imaginary benefits that path could have offered, and then collapse into negative and hopeless feelings.  The rejected choice is a past that is no longer ours, a choice not made or a path not taken; it could be a house not bought , a shidduch not pursued or a business opportunity overlooked.... when we look back and use our vivid imaginations to extrapolate  all the positives of what might have been, all the wonderful and marvelous realities that could have been ours, we do ourselves a great disservice...We would do better to utilize our creative imagination and power of visualization, which are powerful tools, in forward and thus positive thinking!

To utilize our imagination and capacity for  positive visualization  in forward and thus "hopeful" thinking, we need to ground ourselves  in the new reality of what is now, be focused on the present and the future and then be creative to explore all the possibilities that still exist beckoning ahead, this will lead to hopefulness and not hopelessness! Forward thinking, with positive scenarios imagined and visualized will enable us to feel empowered to take on even the most daunting tasks, making the most of that new job, new home, new shidduch opportunity or even a victory fighting giants!

Shabat Shalom!

Grounding, the Mountain and getting ready for Shavuot

Ever since we were new in Torah or very young children if we were lucky enough to be born frum, we have learnt that the Torah was given on Har Sinai because the Mountain of Sinai was both a mountain, signifying some stature, but not a very high one, suggesting the middah( quality) of modesty. What else can we learn about the Mountain that could assist us in receiving the Torah on Shavuot?

The final sfirah ( spiritual energy center/ manifestation) that we focus on before we reach our goal of getting to Har Sinai is Malchus/Royalty ( Seven weeks between Pesach and Shavuot = seven different Sfirot) Malchus is hard to define and hard to personalize , how do we refine our aspect of Malchus? One idea to focus in on that offers insight is that Malchus is a reflection of Kesser/the Crown , the highest energy and light that precedes all of Creation. Kesser represents Hashem's vision of what He wants us to be, and Malchus is the reality of who we have become. This idea is connected to the idea of the end being rooted in the beginning, and the beginning being rooted in the end, with Kesser being the beginning or intension and Malchus being the realization of the idea or the end. Kesser is a manifestation  from Hashem, but what  Malchus looks like is up to us.

How does this idea relate to a Mountain?

Each of the sfirot connect to different parts of the body, the sfirah of Malchus is related to our feet, our sacrum, and interestingly, the mouth. Malchus corresponds to the "Root" center , how we stand upon the earth, who we are,  and how we reflect our essence into the world, just like  the way the moon reflects the light of the sun.  Malchus doesn't really have a distinctiveness of its own, it reflects the truth and reality of all that preceded it. The greatness of Malchus is its ability to receive and to just be. 

When we stand upon the earth like a mountain,  feeling our feet connecting to the earth, we can  "ground" our energy . If we take the time to quieten our minds while we do this, perhaps by closing our eyes and becoming conscious of our breathing, we can actually facilitate a lightening and an opening up of our higher selves...just by being still, conscious  and grounded.

When we imagine ourselves as a mountain, grounded and still and ready to receive that which is above  getting ready to be gifted to us, we are in the best position to receive Torah...

So it is really instructive, that the Torah was given on a mountain...those cheder kids knew it all along! 

Surrendering to Blessing.

This week we read Parshas  Bechokotei, which enumerates some wonderful blessings from above and some pretty scary curses and we also continue to count the Omer, focusing on the Sfirah of Hod.
The word sfirah refers to different G-dly energies existent in the world and existent within us. There are 10 sfirot, and during the  7 weeks between Pesach and Shavuot we focus on the seven sfirot connected to our  7 main emotions. *

So how exactly would we translate "Hod"? Hod is related to the hebrew word "Hodaya" which means to acknowledge, the root of the sfirah is connected to acknowledging the greatness of G-d and His Splendor. Hod is usually translated as "Splendor" but it has a lot to do with  "Acknowledgement"  and it is also connected to the capacity to surrender, to acknowledge the opinion or point of view of the other... and then (possibly)... to surrender to it. Hod stands opposite the Sfirah of Netzach, which is often translated as "Victory", but suggests the qualities of persistence, determination and commitment.

Drawing from an explanation of this weeks parsha from Rabbi David Fohrman, ( alphabeta.org), I would like to suggest that the idea of being able to acknowledge Hashem's rule over the physical world is the key to all the blessings mentioned in this week's parsha, while refusing to surrender,  refusing to engage our "Hod" capacity,  or acknowledge the rule of G-d is what leads to all the curses.

Rabbi Fohrman puts forward the idea that just as eating from the tree of knowledge sent Adam and Chava out of the garden of Eden and away from  all the blessings over there, so too, not listening to Hashem, specifically in relation to the Sabbatical (Shmitah)  year is what sends the Jews out of Israel, and into exile and is what underlines all of the curses in this week's  parsha. Rabbi Fohrman illustrates  that all the blessings at the beginning of the parsha mirror, (but in reverse order) the blessings and descriptions of  Gan Eden. At  the end of the portion of all of the curses, the pasukim read..."then the land will appease(G-d's anger on account of ) its sabbatical years.......then the land will lie fallow and bring appeasement (to the Eternal King)  for its (unobserved) sabattical years. (26:34).

It seems that just as at the time of  Pesach we draw attention to the negative  aspects of the ego, eating the flat matzah that indicates humility, and identifying the anti hero, Pharoah,  as  a personification of ego and arrogance, so here too... the Torah is pointing out to us that the path towards blessing is a path of acknowledging G-d rule over us and  submitting to his dominion. The Ishbitz teaches in parshas Behar, that the laws of Shmittah, (the Sabattical year), Ribbis (not taking interest).. and Yovel (The  Jubilee year) are related to the realms of Place, Time and Person,....  and in all realms we should be enabled to understand that we cannot have total dominion or  total ownership .... only Hashem can really claim ownership in those domains in an ultimate sense. So with this understanding, all three of those mitzvoth just mentioned are training us in our capacity to experience Hod and our  capacity to "let go and let G-d" so to speak.

In closing, just a word about punishments and rewards,.... it makes it so much easier to relate to if we think of blessings as consequences of operating with G-dly principles and that the curses, rather than punishments, are the unfortunate consequences of working against or outside of  the G-dly vision...G-d is not a punishing G-d, here He seems to spell out the consequences and effects.. of going with the divine Flow or not. In submitting to His plan, we allow our capacity to surrender come to the fore, in go ing with His flow... we become  splenderous as we  reflect  G-d's own light allowing it to shine within us too!!

Have a splenderous shabbos!

* The Seven Emotions: (Loose translations from the Hebrew) Kindness, Strength, Harmony(balance), Determination,Surrender, Capacity to connect, Mastery.

Finding Balance

This is an amazing time between Pesach and Shavuot...the sages tell us that on the night of the Sedar we have a vision of what our own liberation and redemption looks like, and then we have the seven weeks of counting the "Omer" , counting the days till Shavuot,  so that we can work to make that  vision into a reality. During this time of counting, we are also working on our  7 emotional attributes, each one corresponding to one of the weeks in the countdown... so that by the time we reach Shavuot, we  have refined our emotional faculties and are fitting vessels to receive the light of the Torah and that we may resemble that version of ourselves we were able to visualize Sedar night.

If we look at this beautiful graphic above we see that  the ten faculties of the soul, or the 10 "Sfirot" are divided into three vertical groups, those on the left, those on the right and those in the center. Inspired flashes of insight, kindness and persistence are on the right side of the graphic and are thought of as the masculine attributes; the capacity to integrate our understanding, have  internal strength and focus, and the willingness to surrender are on the left side, the side of the feminine. Going through the middle of the graphic are the qualities representing integration of the parallel attributes on either side...Connection to the world above (Keter), integrated knowledge, balance, or the capacity to create harmony, a capacity to connect and bond  (Yesod) and being able to put all of the above together in a masterful manner (Malchut) are all  the qualities of integration and resolution.

Although all the qualities have intrinsic worth... the greatest blessings come from the points of integration, the resolution of opposites. We are told that when Hashem wants to bless the Jewish people, the best vessel for his blessing is Peace. (Rabbi Shimon ben Chalafta taught that peace is the only vessel the Holy One found which could contain Israel's blessing ") Rebbe Nachman asks how we can recognize this peace, and answers that it is the resolution of opposites, the qualities represented by the middle line...

 Heaven, we are told is a combination of fire and water, " Eish" (fire) and "Mayim" (water), thus its name is  "Shamayim" a combination of these two words. Hashem (G-d) is able to hold together two opposite entities and make them one. Heaven or Shamayim is the ultimate unification of opposing entities.

Rebbe Nachman teaches us that Yosef Ha Tzaddik, (Yosef the righteous), was able to bridge opposing ways of being, bringing them into resolution and is  thus identified with absolute peace. We see this, says Rebbe Nachaman from the following; He spoke in a disparaging way about his brothers to his father, which would suggest he was connecting to the side of judgement, yet he sought out their welfare when he went to find them in Shchem ( the side of Chesed-Kindness) .He becomes a ruler over many holding great power, (Gevurah) yet he is nurturing and sustains life ( Chesed). He is appointed as the Viceroy in Egypt,  the word used in hebrew is " Avreich" which combines the aspects of being a father, ( Av)  and with being young (Reich) another resolution of opposites. Of course he is involved with power and politics and the ways of the world, yet he is absolutely righteous and never sins and is called Yosef the Righteous !

Yosef was attractive to both men and women, in fact both genders found him irresistible.  What was so compelling about Yosef?? He was integrated!!

Like his mother Rachael, he was  very beautiful,  but like his mother, his beauty was  both inner and outer. They were harmonious, their inner selves matching their outer selves, and both aspects were in harmony!! Both of their beauty had  the capacity  to connect others to the beauty of  the harmony of Creation and to the Creator Himself.
Yosef is a wonderful symbol for the integration and balance which we all seek. Although its Yaakov who is associated with the Sfirah of Tiferet (Balance/harmony) , and Yosef is identified with Yesod( Connection/foundation) , we know that Yosef and Yaakov were very close. When the Torah refers to Yaakov, and wants to mention his descendants or accomplishments, ( "Aleh toldos Yaakov: Yosef" ) it mentions Yosef first and foremost...In a certain way Yosef is Yaakov and Yakov sees his full expression in Yosef. The Sfirah of Tiferet holds a place in the center line that feeds down into the Sfirah of Yesod... they both are in different ways, accomplishments of integration and are connected with peace and thus are a source of blessing.


I bless everybody with the capacity to find balance and harmony; integration in balancing the different needs in our relationships, in our marriages ( if we are married) and in our parenting( if we are parents...)in our activities and in all aspects of our beings,   so that we can truly live peaceful, harmonious and happily balanced lives!

Shabat Shalom.

The blaspheming son who tries to penetrate the heavens ......

This blog post is based upon my understanding of a source text from the teaching of the Arizal, quoted in English in the book " Apples from the Orchard" (Translation and commentary by Rabbi Moshe Wisnefsky).  I understand my comprehension is rudimentary but on the level that I understand, I would love to share....

The Zohar tells us that Cayin (Cain) who killed Hevel( Abel) did so because he was jealous....not about the fact that Hevel's sacrifice to G-d was preferred, but that G-d had given Hevel two twin sisters to marry, whereas he, Cayin only had one wife/sister to marry.... as these were the first people in existence,  populating the world was a higher value than avoiding incest.

This story is significant now because in this weeks Torah reading we read about a man who blasphemes G-d after a quarrel with another man.. ( after taking their quarrel to be judged by Moshe and finding  out that his opponent is in fact correct) ...but the Torah does not go into too many details  about what the quarrel was about. The commentator Rashi tells us that the quarrel was over where the man, who had a Jewish mother and a non Jewish father ( these details are explicit in the Torah verses) could pitch his tent...the man argued that his lineage in terms of his mother was perfect for him to camp in that spot... but he was informed that the real estate was awarded based on who the father was....

What could this story have to do with the story of Cayin and Hevel??

In order to answer this question we need to look at one more story...something that happened when the Jewish people were still in Egypt. One night , the husband of a Jewish woman was called out to do a night shift... while he was out of the house, his Egyption foreman who had ordered him  to go work, slipped into his place.... into his bed, and had relations with his  unsuspecting sleepy wife whose name was Shelomit bas Divri...( which is a hint that she said "Shalom" to too many people and had spoken...(Diber= speech) too much, her name could thus mean "talkative daughter")  ... that is why she had drawn the attention of the foreman in the first place..) When the Jewish man returned home, he found the Egyption , discovered what had happened and the two men got into a deadly battle...this is the battle that Moshe happened to observe, and using the Divine name of G-d he killed the  Egyption.

Here is the juicy part:
According to the Zohar (Kabalistic text) Moshe was a reincarnation of Hevel, The Egyption foreman was a reincarnation of Cayin ( the evil of Cayin was transferred to him) and Shelomit bas Divri was a reincarnation of the second wife of Hevel, over whom Cayin was so jealous. That is why the Egyption desired her so much!When Moses kills the Egyption its a correction , or an avenging of Cayin killing Hevel!

The Zohar tells us that the Jewish man who discovered his wife with the Egyption took a second wife...
all of this is relevant because in our parsha this week the argument that takes place is between the son of Shelomit bat Divri and the Egyption and the son of the second wife the Jewish husband took !

When the son of Shelomit bas Divri blasphemed Hashem, the Zohar tells us his intentions were to exonerate his mother! What does this mean? The Hebrew word for the blasphemy is "Vayikov", this word also means to bore.. like "he bored a hole in the door"... The Zohar tells us that  when his father was killed by Moshe, it was a rectification for the slaying of Hevel... a cosmic fixing releasing great spiritual energy and potential...and as Moshe used the Divine name in this act, the son acquires a unique spiritual power connected to the Divine name.. and in this instance tried to use it.. to  "bore a hole in the name of G-d" so to speak , or  as the Zohar explains, to penetrate through the levels of holiness in the worlds, to reach a place where the distinctions between good and bad are transcended and bring that  undifferentiated energy down into this world.... which is supposed to be a world of distinction and judgement...and somehow flood this world with that divine energy that does not recognize the distinction between right and wrong, between different tribes,( and their respective rights to different parts of land..)  and thus with the illumination of the higher worlds flowing down through this "punctured hole" the scourge  of the immodesty of Shlomit bas Divris would be neutralized! Then he, being the son of that union also would not need to continue to pay the price for that unfortunate happening.... The verse says.."The son of the Yisraelite woman cursed(blasphemed).." but it also could be read " he bore into the Divine Name...."

But we cannot sugarcoat evil.. some things are just bad and wrong, and some things are evil... we may like to turn the world upside down to make something that really was a mistake seem like its ok... but sometimes, wrong is wrong, bad is bad and the judgement just needs to prevail!

The Baby Whisperer

http://youtu.be/L2aFLN-plgM......

A poem from Chaya Lesser.... An amazing Torah Teacher and Poet living in Jerusalem.
link to her reading this is printed above...try to copy and paste...i am not able to get it live...
you can also try  puah.wmv

The poem is about Puah the midwife who resisted Pharoh's instructions to kill all the infant Jewish boys...

Have a wonderful Pesach!!

"Inner-Freedom

Like freedom fighters
who pray with their feet
I protest for inner-peace

though paraplegic in comparison
to prodigious heels 
of powerful men

my prayerful wheels
spin tales of inner-freedom
and entone hymns of mindful treatment 
of children and kin

I commit to calm the din of crying infants 
with the easy clicking of my teeth
I speak for those who do not yet know how to speak

My freedom fighting is not political
that task is for a hardier class 
of jewish girl

for me - the Egyptian fiend 
is personal 

for the Pharoahs I dethrone 
rule the halls of each of our homes

in the inner-alcoves of a private despair
that petrifies the children 
and paralizes the parents
that inprisons our finest hours 
of family commitment and contentment

I prefer to pedal wares 
of wars-well-avoided
where everyone wins
through carefully worded 
apologies and the timely 
airing of grievances 
between friends

for cowering beneath the pyramids 
of needs – my fiends 
are the menacing insecurities of adolescents
and the lethal bickerings of parents
- the noisome whines of needy toddlers
and the all-too-common-household-hollers 
that oppress our most precious commodities
of family

my enemies crouch quietly beneath
the crumbs on the living room carpet
a beast between the sheets 
of a cold-shouldered bedroom
where partners sleep
unconscious 
and deeply out of tune
with the exquisit call 
of their common dreams

I come to loosen the shackled lips
of fathers and mothers
that they may better utter
their astounded praise
at the miracle of a house full 
of filthy shoes, spilled soup
and their children's most innocent mistakes

My task is to counter the 
armor-clad offensive
against love and friendship 
- to incite a protest against 
the enslavement of a trillion 
inner prophets of tranquility
whose gentle-tongued souls 
are daily buried beneath 
straw burdens of poor comunication
and tossed out with the trashed 
afternoons of a mother's 
epic impatience 

I come to play the Moses of relational redemption
in the face of a sink-full of grimy resentments

And so I call forth all fellow 
freedom fighters for inner-transformation 
midwives with wise hands
toting torahs, toting infants, toting pens
all prayer-footed-protesters
come & herald in 
emotional freedom from the pharonic foe
and let us birth our children 
into peaceable homes

for when our houses enshrine tranquility
then outer-world will follow inner-lead

and rock-hard hearts 
will soften grips
and all thats enslaved 
will lithly slip
into the soft of freedom found
and take our shoes your off
to walk around
for our houses are the 
hallowed ground
from which God speaks

So call me Puah, 
who quiets the cries
of children, slaves 
and the Pharoah 
inside"