Bounded Love

Its not so easy holding back when we get excited about someone new or something new to love....natural instincts may suggest to give it our all... completely invest and really show how absolute and true our passion is.... well , surprise, surprise... that may well not be the best way to go! Healthy boundaries and some distance seem to spell a better success rate....
and somehow this lesson is embodied in this week's Parsha.
In Parsha Shemini we read how on the 8th day the Mishkan or Tabernacle was finally consecrated, fire came down from Heaven and the climax of all of Creation seemed to be achieved. Heaven united with Earth and it seemed that the service of those on Earth was accepted and desired by G-d. In this climactic moment, Nadav and Avihu, two of Aaron's sons, decided to bring a fire offering of burning incense into the Mishkan, which they had not been commanded to bring.... the result.... their souls were consumed by an Heavenly fire that came down from above....and their bodies  needed to be carried out ,not just  out of the Mishkan, but out of the entire camp. Rabbi David Fohrman of Aish.com brings a comparison between the actions of Nadav and Avihu and Adam and Chava in Gan Eden. He illustrates this in a wonderful video presentation* that draws attention to many parallels in the two stories.

The bottom line seems to be this: Show love to Hashem in the way He commanded us to, not in the way we feel like doing, and stay within the parameters He set up.... the reasons He did so have something to do with those healthy boundaries we started this essay with... they serve a purpose....same with our human relationships... consider the needs of those we are attempting to love....not just our overwhelming desire  and need to give....perhaps strange fire, not commanded... is not the best gift after all? Oh, and about Adam and Chava.... maybe they thought they were also giving Hashem the ultimate gift... wanting to be so close to Him, by becoming, as they believed maybe for just a few moments, even more similar to Him...  but this was not the best path to intimacy... because He communicated very specifically... that that was not what He wanted....sometimes, just listening is the greatest act of love there is!

* Link to the video
http://www.aish.com/tp/i/10minuteparsha/Shemini-Why-Did-God-Reject-Nadav-and-Avihu.html

For a much more in depth discussion of this topic, listen in to our audio class:
Part 1: https://soundcloud.com/brachame/shemini-part-1-nadav-and-avihu

and part 2: https://soundcloud.com/brachame/shemini-part-2-loving-without

Reluctant Spring

Spring is crouching behind a corner
hesitating to make its appearance
Remains of the snow already melted
are tempted to retreat into yet another freeze

But the new season is on it's way
and together with it will be
new buds,the singing of birds and new birth

Yet in the meantime while the cold clings
like the dark of this Galus
we need to hold our hope dear
that soon the warmth will break through

as will the dawning of a new time
without sudden loss,
of life, of planes and of those who so inspire
and we will be able to truly celebrate
in the great Seuda
May it be soon....

Blessings for a joyous Purim!!!

Keeping the fires burning....

Staying enthusiastic for the business of life, not letting the negativity get you down
Isn't this what we are all about?
This weeks Parsha (Tzav)  gives us some advice:

Keep the fires of service and commitment burning
and the those fed  flames
will consume your negativity!

The sacrificial service is a great metaphor for the spiritual life we have within .. We need to nurture our inner flame..warm  ourselves and others with its power, inspire ourselves and others with its light and make sure we keep it burning at all times , even surprisingly enough we are reminded, on Shabbos, and in that way.. the inevitable negativity... the negativity of Amalyk, the negative expression of the kuf..., the negativity of self doubt, cynicism and even boredom, gets negated and consumed...

Nice tie in with Purim!

Have a wonderful Purim and a good shabbos!

A Beautiful Poem by Yehoshua November ..on the theme of Amalyk

With Great Joy, My Friend Danced Before His Bride

He kicked his legs in the air and thrust his portly body so high,
none of the wedding guests encircling him could
believe it. And had you seen
the innocence
on his face, you would know
what it was like to stand as a Jew at Mount Sinai,
to see the eyelids of parents and children
parted as wide as a sea, in equal amazement.

And if, a short while later,
when my friend lost three successive jobs,
you heard the voices of those who said,
You see, the marriage was all a big mistake,
it should have been thought through a little more thoroughly,
then you would know how that great cynic Amalek
tries to make a Jew doubt that he comes from a place
a little higher than this world,
that he is more than just a heavy body carrying a trunk of sorrow
in the direction of probability’s push.

And if you saw how my friend leaped high out of his bed
and printed out a thousand copies of his resume--
how he believed in himself and his young marriage
enough to save them both—

then you might begin to understand what Mark Twain meant
when he said, All things are mortal but the Jew;
all other forces pass, but he remains.
And you might remember or not forget
that Amalek is just a liar
and, despite what he says,
and though it has taken so long,

the world is waiting to be made holy.

BY YEHOSHUA NOVEMBEr*

Yehoshua November’s poetry collection, G-d’s Optimism, is a finalist for the L.A. Times Book Prize in Poetry and the winner of the 2010 MSR Poetry Book Award. His work has been selected as the winner of the Bernice Slote Award and have also been nominated twice for the Pushcart Prize. His poems have appeared in a number of literary journals, including Prairie Schooner, The Sun, Margie, Provincetown Arts, and New Works Review. November teaches writing at Rutgers University and Touro College.

Trust, the Monkey , and the Power of Purim!

On March 16,  2014, Jews around the world are going to celebrate the holiday of Purim. This date on the Hebrew Calendar is the 14th day of the month of Adar... a month characterized by the unique joy of having vanquished our enemies, both internal and external.  Haman, a descendant from the Amalekite nation is the personification of the external enemy... and self doubt is the internalization of this enemy, and on Purim we celebrate our victory over both. The hebrew words for Amalyk and "Safek" - doubt -share the same numerical value, pointing us towards the idea that the dangers posed by both are basically identical. Amalek was the nation that attacked the Jews after they crossed the Red Sea; all nations were afraid of the people who had G-dly protection, but to Amalyk it was no big deal...., Amalyk just "happened" to be there  to accost them. The  nuances of the text tells us that they cooled off the spiritual high that the Jews were enjoying after their miraculous escape from Egypt and experience of revelation crossing the Red Sea, that is the power of the Amalykites... they cool off our enthusiasm for our relationship with the Divine and for our own belief in our intrinsic capacity to experience revelation and have an intimate relationship with G-d..., Amalyk lodges within our psyche to make us doubt our own value and inherent holiness.

The holiday of Purim celebrates how in the time of the Babylonian exile, Mordechai and Esther defeated Haman, the direct descendant of Amalyk, their victory resonates and echoes through time... giving us access to a unique power to defeat this particular enemy too!

The word Amalyk can be broken down to mean "Amal" - the work of - "Kuf". the letter Kuf, which our Torah sages teach is the letter G-d used to create the month of Adar. The whole world was created using the letters of the Hebrew Alphabet, with each month having its own letter responsible for its  unique character and energy. The letter "Kuf" is associated with the word for holiness "Kedusha". Adar is thought of as a very joyful and holy month,  a month of positive or good  "Mazal", with it's positive attributes  stemming from the defeat of our enemies during that month  and the overall joy of connecting to G-d that victory allows us to feel. The holiness of Adar is a holiness that transcends the work of all the other months, its a holiness that testifies to the fact that the work, of defeating negative aspects of personality has already been done, Adar being the final month of a cycle of 12 ... But Kuf also references the word "Kof", which means monkey..., the Monkey imitates , makes fun of, can scoff at, and can generally wreak havoc with the calm trusting mind that believes in its holiness and connection to G-d's Oneness.... the monkey mind..., used here in a slightly different context than usual, is the weapon of Amalyk... the confusion and depression he unleashes by making us doubt ourselves and our value. The holiness of the Kuf inspires us to imitate G-dliness, the lower aspect of the "Kuf" confuses us and brings us down.

On Purim, Mordechai and Esther galvanized the entire Jewish people to fast and connect to their G-dliness within and to the G-d without ; the courage of the Jews and their commitment led to a total turn around, what might have been total destruction of the entire Jewish people, was turned into a great victory and defeat of their enemies and then tremendous celebration; so as a result, we get an inherited power so to speak, to defeat this type of enemy up to and including today as well, but the power is greatest on the day of Purim itself.

 On Purim, we are instructed to go beyond the Mind; its one of the main positive  commandments of the day to drink in celebration of our victory, until the point that we cannot distinguish between blessing Mordechai and cursing Haman, or cursing Mordechai and blessing Haman, because at the point of real holiness, there is no good and bad.... there is only good.... True Kedusha is bonding with a G-d who transcends the boundaries of good or bad... G-d is all good... there is no bad!!  Feeling this connection allows us to feel the highest joy of all... this is the joy of Purim, a joy from trusting in our innate connection to G-d and feeling it in every moment. "good" or "apparently bad" , its all really only good, and who cannot feel joy or happiness experiencing that??!!

Views of the Snow

The photographic opportunity is irresistible!

Finding Joy in the Mess-Up!

Finding Joy in the Mess-Up? Seems like a hard thing to do; usually after we mess up we are filled with recrimination and shame and the last thing we are capable of doing is finding Joy. Well this week's Torah Portion, "Ki Tisa"  may offer some insight.
The fact that the  Torah is a divine instruction manual does not prevent it from being filled with renderings of human frailty, but the events recorded in this week's reading are on a whole new level! The Jews left the slavery of Egypt in order that they could serve G-d. They arrived at  Mt Sinai and  experienced a multi media presentation par excellence during which G-d Himself revealed  the 10 Commandments. Even those of us not so into our religious studies do know that those commandments did include "Do not worship any other gods..."( You shall not possess an idol of other deities , nor make for yourself a sculptured image...), yet barely 40 days later the Jews managed to create and dance in front of the Golden Calf....what gives??
Even if we accept the argument , and there are many, that the Jews had not given up on G-d ( G-d forbid... ! lol ) , but were just looking for a different manner in which to relate to G-d in the physical world, they still transgressed a commandment for which the penalties were extremely severe...and yet this weeks Portion is called Ki Tisa which means "When you raise Up" . How are we raised up by reading about this...? Surely we should be  brought  down by reading of how fallible they were?? Yet this portion contains the revelation of G-d's 13 attributes of Compassion and also describes how Moshe obtained the second set of Tablets. This weeks portion is really a how to of managing a failure ....( beg and plead for forgiveness mostly and resolve to be different in the future) ; and also shows us how the Torah that we really have, as represented by the second set of tablets, is really a Torah for the imperfect.
Just like the saying, " There  is nothing as whole as a broken heart" conveys the beauty of vulnerability, so too  does the fact that the very Torah which we actually do have, is the Torah written on the sapphire that Moshe himself quarried from beneath his own tent, and lugged up Mt. Sinai , as the first set of tablets were shattered and broken. G-d once again inscribes His Divine guidance on stone, but this time for a clearly imperfect and repentant people, and we all get to have our second chance.

Having a Torah that acknowledges our innate imperfections is very reassuring, we are not expected to be angels, and even when our mistakes are grandiose, there is a way back and a path of repair.

Regarding the timing of when this Torah portion is read is also of significance.

We are now in the the first of  the two months of Adar.This year is a leap year and brings into alignment the Gregorian solar calendar  and the Jewish lunar calendar by adding in an extra month.  In a leap year there are two Adar months, ( basically the Pisces of the Zodiac calendar), an Adar 1, and an Adar 2. (In a 19 year cycle there will be 7 leap years.)
Adar is a month associated with Joy. In a leap year we have 60 days in which the main form of divine service is "Serving G-d with Joy".  During a leap year, we have 60 days in which we can refine the more primitive and undeveloped aspects of our personalities... through Joy!  The Joy climaxes with the holiday of Purim which celebrates the over turning of the evil decree of Haman who wished to destroy all Jewish men, women and children.

Haman descends from the line of Amalyk, whose spiritual counterpart or quality is doubt... Amalyk  afflicts us with self doubt and doubt of G-d and His path...Haman is the evil representation of that in the physical world.  When we mess up or sin, our own self doubt, or sense of unworthiness , can lead ( G-d forbid) to a sense of shame, depression or extreme sadness. Rebbe Nachman ( of Breslov.. late 1700s early 1800s)  teaches that the biggest sins  can come from us feeling bad about ourselves and depression can be the biggest evil as it leads us to feel that we are not worthy of acting in a holy way. Rebbe Nachman teaches that "You cannot  live without joy, you can exist, but live?? You cannot serve  G-d without joy.. You cannot do anything without joy!"( Rebbe Nachman's teachings in Reb Shlomo's words) In Adar , we celebrate that Haman was defeated, through the self sacrifice and dedication of Esther and the prayers of the Jewish people and we celebrate with great joy. Joy is the path to overcome many of our enemies, both internal and external!

Reading the Parsha of Ki Tisa in a month whose service is joy connects us to the idea, that a path of repentance and a path of fixing, must be followed in a spirit of joy. Like the Alter Rebbe teaches in Tanya, if we want to overcome our enemy ( our own negative "personality")  we should imagine ourselves like a wrestler in the ring facing our opponent: being down and sad will make us lethargic and slothful, but  attempting to defeat our negativity in a way of joy will enable us to be flexible, fast and effective.

Reading about the sin of the Jews in the desert with regard to the Golden Calf, and then reading about how that sin was followed with the revelation of G-d's compassion and a re-giving of the Tablets, can inspire us to be compassionate towards ourselves when we mess up, and can inspire us to work on our own "stuff" in a spirit of Joy.
Le Chaim... to life, with joy!