What's Hashem doing in the darkness??

In this week's Parsha Vayeishev, there are many details that could point to an apparent randomness of events or events that could seem accidental.... but like the Purim story are actually interwoven in an intricate pattern of Divine Providence!
Yakov sends Yosef to check on his brothers acting on and bringing to fuition, information from Avraham Avinu that his family will be exiled,
the brothers cast Yosef into a pit and then sell him to Yishme'elim, and then totally broken from all of these events, the family starts to unravel somewhat, many of the members spending time either in mourning or Tshuvah or both in sackcloth and ashes.

The Chumash tells us that Yehuda goes down to live in another place and do business with an Adullami man. The going down could refer to his own sense of self worth or his estimation in his brother's opinion of him.

Yehuda marries, which we are told also in the Medrash is a choice of action that Hashem approves of, a starting over, a choice of having a new beginning! He has three sons, marries the eldest one to Tamar, when the eldest son dies Tamar is given to the second son and when he too dies, Yehuda holds back his third son from marrying Tamar.
The chumash tells us that after Yehuda's own wife dies, he goes on the road on some business trip, sees Tamar, does not recognize her as his daughter in law and thinking she is a harlot has relations with her.

The medrash tells us that a Malach  actually pushed Yehuda to notice and desire to have relations with Tamar, without this push he would never have noticed her at all!  Another medrash tells us that while all the family members were busy with their  mourning and regret;
"the tribes with the selling of Yosef, Yosef with his sackcloth and fasting , (because he was separated from his father's house) Reuben with his sackcloth and fasting, Yakov with his sackcloth and fasting, (mourning his son) , and Yehuda,  busy with selecting a wife, the Holy One blessed be He was busy with creating the light of Moshiach!" How so, the union of Yehuda and Tamar produces Peretz, the forefather of Moshiach!

When it seems that the most unlikely things are happening and it seems that Hashem has abandoned the scene, he is actually working in apparent darkness, a darkness that distracts the negative forces, so that He is free to bring  about redemption!

The medrash highlights a number of liaisons  connected to the seed of Moshiach that come into the world in suspect circumstances, Ruth's own heritage, the marriage of  Boaz and Ruth, David's own lineage and now Yehuda and Tamar. The Medrash highlights the idea of bringing something of holiness into the world through the backdoor, in an unexpected fashion....Concealment is a hallmark of the means by which G-d prepares the way for the arrival of Moshiach. The Gemorrah states in Sanhedrin, "Three things come into the world when one's attention is diverted, these are Moshiach,... etc". The Ramban mentions this method of confusing the Satan by reminding us of the action of throwing a goat off a cliff on Yom Kippur, the Ramban says we are tricking the Satan by leading him to believe we are making an offering to the forces of impurity and then distracted , the Satan refrains from prosecuting Israel in the heavenly court on Yom Kippur!

It seems that when darkness surrounds us, we may be led to believe Hashem has abandoned His post, but in fact he is working behind the scenes, orchestrating the next manifestation of Moshiach, the darkness is meant to be a distraction, so the forces of evil get thrown off...a false sense of strength and victory should not be seen as true strength... Hashem is pulling strings and orchestrating our redemption although right now it definitely seems like it's happening behind the scenes.... may we have revealed good very soon with the ultimate revelation of Moshiach!
May it be soon!

Yakov as Peaceful Warrior

What does it mean to be a peaceful warrior?

At first glance these two words seem contradictory yet if we think more deeply into the the root of what makes us strong, (our vulnerability) what makes us the best fighters, (a desire for true peace) and what helps us to reach above ourselves, (being grounded) then perhaps the combination of these two words is not so strange after all. A peaceful warrior is someone who enters into battle open to reconciliation if that is truly available, but brave enough to take a stand if it is not. In my understanding, a peaceful warrior is a fighter who is centered and calm, flexible and adaptable and really wishes to hurt no living thing, but when his or her family and values, land and loves are threatened, they can be very focused in defending what is right and what is theirs.

In this week's Parsha our forefather Yakov reminds me of  the perfect example of what a  peaceful warrior truly is.

Yakov leaves Charan and the home of Lavan where he was successful in transforming the energy that existed there from energy that served selfish and material interests, to energy that fused the material and the spiritual in the service of Hashem. He leaves with 12 children and great material wealth, his abundance all devoted to the service of the ideals of the Torah, his children and wives  loyal to his beliefs and the wealth available for offerings and gifts to G-d as well as spreading light in the physical world....

and he now prepares to confront and attempt to elevate the energy of Esav.

The Torah tells us of the various different strategies Yakov employs in planning for this cosmic meeting. He sends angels (in the form of people as Esav would not have been able to engage with them in angelic form) with a message of reconciliation, he divides his family into two camps, (part of a war strategy that in the event of  violence,  at least one camp would escape Esav) he prays to Hashem to save him , (connects to his spiritual self) and he sends  a very large gift, (as Rashi explains, large enough to  amaze and fully satiate the eye of Esav) more effort at reconciliation and then perhaps without planning it at all, he is forced to do the most intense preparation of all, he fights with the angel of Esav. 

There are many different explanations of  the meaning of this encounter with the angel of Esav . Is the angel the externalization of his own inner conflict and fear in relation to Esav that he needs to confront? According to the Babylonian Talmud (Chullin 91a) the angel appeared in the guise of a man; one opinion is that this " man" was a pagan idol worshipper and most interesting another opinion suggests that the angel took the guise of a Torah sage! Does Yakov need to understand his own guilt and ambivalence regarding their past?  Does he need to come to grips  with what happened and  defeat the 'idea" of  what Esav represents in this world before he can face him in a calm and secure fashion in actuality? To truly defeat Esav, Yakov has to come to a point where he can reconcile himself to what happened regarding his and Esav's history, he needs to  understand why in fact it was G-d's will that he should have received the blessing of the first born when in fact Esav was really older and his father's intended recipient for the blessing? 

It seems that  it took all night for Yakov to work through all these inner struggles and at the end of it it.. the "man" was not able to overcome him, meaning possibly that Yakov was able to neutralize all the accusations thrown at him by both the secular voices in his head and the super halachic and  "super righteous"  voices telling him he had possibly sinned and had no Torah based claim to the blessings....so ultimately he does emerge victorious but he is damaged slightly. The significance of the damage is that Yakov is forever vulnerable in certain aspects of his mission, some doubt did lay it's seed within him  and this seed developed into fruition with the destruction of all that Yakov held dear generations later with  the destruction of the Temples on a date that has a Kabalistic connection to the site of the injury. 

Most important of all, Yakov emerges from his night of confrontation with something that adds a dimension to him for all time and becomes an aspect of the entire Jewish people.. Yakov becomes Yisroel! Yakov, who deals with things in a somewhat round about kind of way,  sometimes surreptitious and perhaps even devious, becomes Yisroel ,  Yashar-El... straight with Hashem, unapologetic, upfront and direct and then he names the place of the encounter Peni'el, (the face of G-d) he is ready for a face to face encounter with what ever !

Yakov struggled within himself to find his belief that ultimately he is the one to whom the blessings rightfully belong, and that he can walk tall and face anyone who may be an accuser , knowing that he is calm and centered within...peaceful and focused...this calmness and clarity has allowed him to see the face of Hashem hidden in all the details, and this calmness allows him to face Esav as a peaceful warrior!

The name Yakov implies a kind of struggle while the name Yisroel hints to a place beyond the struggle , a place of peacefulness and resolution. When Avram becomes Avraham his new name takes root and he is never again called Avram, however  Yaakov continues to be referred to by both names, he continues to have struggles in his life ( the loss of Yosef for over 20 years) being called by both names  even after he receives his name Yisroel.

May it be that the Children of Israel/Yisroel truly achieve a state of peace, within and without in the perfected world of the Messianic era and may it be soon in our day!!! 

Dealing with the world

One of the reasons Yakov leaves Beer Sheva , our sages teach us, is that he did not want to make a treaty with Avimelech the way his grandfather and father before him did. Making a treaty with Avimelech would suggest a position of " you do your thing, and I will do mine, and lets not bother each other". Yakov's purpose was to  transform and transcend physicality and the impure or selfish energies, not by being far away and separated from them, but by being amidst them and then transforming and  transcending them.

When Yakov comes to "the place" that, Rashi tells us will be the site of the future Bais Hamikdash, it becomes suddenly dark , he lays down and has his dream.The Rebbe in a sicha given in Kislev of 5752, explains that there is something positive about the fact that Yakov , at the site of the future Bais Hamikdash is in a lying position; feet, symbolizing physicality on the same level as his head, symbolizing the intellect and the higher faculties. This is connected with Yakov's essential mission, elevating the lowest worlds. The dream itself, of a ladder with it's feet on the ground and its upper part reaching up into  the heavens is also a symbol of the lower and upper worlds integrating and  connecting one to the other.

He goes down to Charan, a place linked to G-d's anger, and there he manages to weave around all of Lavan's crafty plans, and manages to release and elevate all the hidden sparks buried and trapped with Lavan, so that he is able to create the foundation for the future of the Jewish people and to leave with great wealth.

Yakov is identified with the sfirah of Tiferet, which is connected to the idea of balance, balance between Chesed and Gevurah, and also balance between the physical and spiritual worlds. All of Yakov's children emerge from Charan with the faith and the world view of their father, serving Hashem with all parts of themselves involved, elevating the physical to spiritual heights and bringing the light of spirituality into the physical realm around them.

Let us be inspired to follow in the path of Yakov, an integrated and balanced path, that allows for all parts of the 'self' to find a means of expression in the service of Hashem and in the service of elevating even the lowest of worlds.

The clash of opposing forces and the vision of Rivka Immeinu

In this week's Parsha we read about the pregnancy of Rivka Immeinu. We read how she was so uncomfortable with the conflicted energies within her womb, that she went to enquire about this of Hashem. Rashi explains that she went to the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever, which is where one would go to enquire of Hashem. Rashi also tells us that at the yeshiva it was Shem who received an answer for Rivka via ruach hakodesh and communicated it to her. The answer that Rivka received was that within her womb were the beginnings of two great nations, that would have separate priorities and separate destinies and that eventually the older would serve the younger.

Chassidus views the reality of the two "nations" within Rivka as  related to the two forces within each person, the Yakov aspect which suggests a desire to be centered and committed to G-dliness and giving and the Esav aspect, an opposing inclination towards selfishness and immediate gratification in the physical world.

Rivkas as we learnt last week is connected to the "eye" of the well, which means she sees reality in a dualistic fashion, she sees clearly what is in the here and now, but she is also able to see beyond the now to the future, and to see beyond the details of the immediate to see the bigger picture. When Eliezer found Rivka at the well, our sages tell us he was not only looking for her kindness, but he was looking for a quality within Rivka's worldview that was represented within her "eye". Eliezer was looking for the girl who had the right kind of vision.

Rivka carries the message of the prophesy she hears from Shem about her two sons for 60 years. When Yitzchak is ready to give his blessing, she realizes that she needs to become proactive to manifest that prophecy. 

Yitzchak is aware that Esav has some of the qualities of a true first born, but what Rivka understands is that when he sold his birthright to Yakov, he revealed his true essence, which showed him not to be a vessel for the blessing. He was only connected to the moment and Rivka knew the blessing has power for all of eternity.

 Reb Shlomo explains  that the blessing from Yitzchak would be a blessing that would full the recipient with enough holiness  to enable  their descendants to "mamesh make it to the end" with faith and trust intact!

On the basis of that blessing the descendants of Yakov sit and learn Torah in Jerusalem today, on the basis of that blessing, the descendants of Yakov witness horrible and brutal murders in Jerusalem and stay committed and faithful to G-d's path and on the basis of that blessing we are able to see beyond the realities of today to a visualize and believe in a picture of peace and resolution for tomorrow.

Rivka was told that the elder, the first born, (the physically focused, worldly, self interested and crafty) will serve the younger, (the Torah serving, ultruistic G-d fearing )Yakov. We need to look with the eyes of Rivka to see the reality of today, and not be blind to what is happening, but at the same time, to be able to keep the vision of redemption alive, when the nations of the world will empower us to serve Hashem, when we will truly  integrate our own physicality and creative strength and power to serve only good and when we will be able to embrace and channel our own shadow selves to truly be in healthy emotional states of joy and gratitude constantly....

As we beg and plead for Moshiach we need to remember that there were sages at various times in our history who resisted the idea of Moshiach coming because they feared that with the enormous energy shifts that would occur, there would be much bloodshed and suffering. For years the idea of the coming of Moshiach was always identified with the war of Gog and Magog and not a popular idea at all, but the Rebbe refocused our attention. Holding on to that fear is not an authentic Jewish  path and will hold the world back from reaching its ultimate potential. The Rebbe pleaded with us (and can I say demanded of us?)  that we should be very focused on doing everything we can to  bring Moshiach,  and to focus on all the good that the era of Moshiach will reveal to us, with the ultimate revelation of a world that is all good, but is it possible to birth a baby since the "aveirah" of Chava in Gan Eden without the pain of contractions?

Rivka worked hard that Yakov should get the blessing for "the end" from Yitzchak, and she was successful, because of that, we have made it thus far, and we need to hold on just a little bit longer, because the night is almost over, and dawn is breaking over the horizon, but we need to hold fast to our faith and our strength... we are mamesh so close to the end....

May the memory of  

Rabbi Moshe Twersky hy"d

Rabbi Kalman Levine hy"d

Rabbi Areyeh Kupinsky hy"d

 Rabbi Avraham Shmuel Goldberg hy"d

be for blessing and may their neshamos have continuous aliyot..

and may the following have a refuah shelaimah

Shmuel Yeruchem ben Baila

Chaim Yechiel ben Malka

Eitan ben Sara

Yitzchak ben Chaya

Moshe ben Atara

remembering with gratitude:

Zidon Nahad Sief

With thanks to Shlomo Katz for giving over so beautifully the Torah teachings of Reb Shlomo Carlebach which served as inspiration for this piece. 

Being inspired by our parents...Learning to see.

Our sages tell us that we share spiritual DNA from the Avot and the Imaot, we probably have some of their  physical DNA as well. What this means, is that not only can we be inspired by the way they lived their lives, but we can be empowered to follow in their their footsteps.
This weeks Parsha, which is called Chaya Sara includes  the passing and burial of Sara as well as the shiddich of Yitzchak and Rivka. One of the reasons why the Parsha which contains the death of Sara is called "the Life of Sara", is because we see how Sara'a values are continued into the next generation through the marriage of her son to Rivka, who we see is a young woman/or young girl of incredible kindness and depth.

These past few weeks in Eretz Yisroel have seen tremendous suffering and grief as the birthpangs of the imminent redemption seem to be intensifying. The deaths of 26 year old Dahlia Lemkus, a young woman from Alon Shvut who loved to help people and do water color paintings, Almog Shilon from Mod-In  who had just graduated from the   first ever Platoon Commanders' Course of the Nahal Haredi battalion of the Israeli Air Force,  3 month old Chaya Zissel Braun who had just visited the kotel for the first time, the young woman from Equadore, Keren Yemima Mosquera who had only recently completed a conversion process and others.................. and unhappily we stop paying attention. We stop feeling because maybe feeling all this pain and suffering is too much for us??

The Piacesna Rebbe , Rabbi Kolonymus Kalman Shapira ( Rebbe who lived in the Warsaw ghetto in the 2nd World War) explains that  Sara's death can almost be seen as a protest, that she somehow testifies to the limit of how much suffering we as a people are capable of handling... that even the thought that her only son and future of the Jewish people being slaughtered was absolutely too much!!

Rabbi Meir Kahana whose Yortzeit was this last week was often described as the Rabbi who made the Jewish people wake up, are we awake yet??
Being awake is a good thing, we eat fish on shabbos as fish are compared to the righteous who always have their eyes open, but what do we see??

Rabbi Avrahan Eiger writes in the Shevet Mi Yehuda that the difference between a slave person and someone who is free is how they see the world, a slave who is looked down upon looks down at the world, sees negativity and cannot look up or  see the beyond, while a free person is able to look up and see beyond the darkness, beyond the reality of just today.

Our sages teach us that there are  two ways of seeing, being aware of what is right in front of us and being able to see the reality beyond. In this week's HaYom Yom the Alter Rebbe is quoted as sharing with someone in Yechidus  that Shma is an acronym of "Se'u marom einechem"
Raise your eyes on High! Look upwards!

When Eliezer comes to the spring or fountain where he will meet Rivka, who will become the wife of Yitzchak, it says in verse 24:13 that he arrives at the "Ayin Ha Mayim", which literally means the eye of the water. The word for a spring or fountain is "Ma-ayan " which actually means "Mem from Ayin" from the eye! Reb Shlomo Carlebach explains the importance of this and connects this idea to the way we see things, and how warmth and love can be communicated with our eyes. True giving is done not just with our hands, but with our eyes too, the spirit with which we give. Eliezer was looking for the girl who had the right type of eye, the eye of true giving, as well as the eye that could see beyond the realities of just today.

Ayin is the letter in the hebrew alphabet that has the value of 70,  there are 70 nations of the world. Reb Shlomo teaches that the way we use our eyes, will enable us to cope with the 70 nations. Se'u Marom Eineichem, look up and get the power and  strength and vision beyond that of the 70 nations... let it be our Ayin, not theirs.

One of my students Reva sent me the following in response to our learning together of the Piacesna's learning on Sara:
Thank you Reva.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oo2JskBPgA

Blessing us all with a beautiful Shabbos, with the power of a good eye that is able to look up and see good, and the revelation of true good with the Geula Shelaimah!

P.S Just wanted to make a shout out to my own  amazing parents Irma and Dick Hayden ( they should both be well and strong!) who have an  amazing capacity to always look for and see the good !!

The breath of life.....

Interesting article I  recently happened upon:
"Yoga Practice pumps up Detoxifying Antioxidants
Indian Researchers recruited 64 physically fit males from the Indian Air Force Academy for a three month study of yoga's effect on detoxification. For three months, 34 of the volunteers practiced Hatha yoga with breathing exercises and meditation. The other 30 volunteers underwent physical training exercises.
At the end of the study, blood tests found significantly higher levels of antioxidants, including vitamin C and vitamin E,among the subjects in the yoga group. These participants also showed lower levels of oxidized glutathione and increased levels of two important antioxidant enzymes, superoxide dismutase and glutathione reductase, all indicating better detoxification. Meanwhile, the exercise -only group showed no changes in these parameters."
Natural Awakenings, October 2014

Tuesday and Thursday mornings join us for Tiferet Movement: Develop body and mind strength and flexibility through movement, breathing exercises and meditation.

Bringing Heaven down to Earth!

Avraham was a revolutionary! He was a revolutionary not because he believed in one G-d, this was not so cutting edge, but because he allowed his belief in a transcendent G-d to effect his very physical earthly self, to the extent that this belief  got translated into all of his 248 physical limbs, and led him to go through with the bris mila, a mitzvah that required him to "cut " into his physical self (thus the cutting edge phrase..lol) and by so doing, reveal the  essential connection between body and soul!!

Avraham was also pretty revolutionary in his connection to kindness! His identification and manifestation of kindness was so absolute, that our sages tell us that because of Avraham's kindness, Hashem Himself was able to manifest more of His own kindness into the world!!

Menachem Nachem of Chernoble explains that when Avraham sits at the opening to his tent in the heat of the day, just after his bris, this can be interpreted on a more abstract level, ( the level of Remez i believe)  that Avraham sits for all time at the entrance to Geinheinom (Hell) and tries to save Jews who can be recognized by the markings of a kosher or unpolluted bris .( which means that they have not had illicit relations with non Jewish women). The heat of the day obviously refers here to the "heat of Hell" which Avraham endures in order to do eternal kindness for the souls of all "fallen Jewish men..."

During our class on the Parsha we compared Noach who related to Hashem in a rational way, within the confines of the natural world and within the confines of his own nature, to Avraham, who relates to a transcendent G-d, in a way that requires him to constantly transcend his own nature!

Avraham's way of relating to G-d opens pathways to us, to relate to G-d in both ways that are transcendent , requiring us to go beyond our selves, so to speak, and in ways that are very grounded, linking  heaven and earth in very physical ways, using our 248 limbs to carry out the 248 physical  mitzvoth!